The Velvet Cigar

Posted By ironmeden on August 30, 2007

Where is Elvis?

Cigar blogs everywhere have been asking the question, Where is Elvis?

I thought I could keep his silence a secret, but i’m left with little choice but to go over recent weeks events.

It started last Tuesday evening when we went to Hudson WI to check out their local cigar lounge The St. Croix Cigar Company. At this gathering a local twin cities AM radio personality Jay Kolls arrived to welcome us to his home town of Hudson and to smoke a cigar with him. During this time we all mingled with Jay, but Elvis seemed to take a close liking to Jay. Elvis would laugh out loud at all his stories, even at a soul opening story about Jay being attacked by a band of angry salamanders as a youth. It brought the room to a quiet somber and reflecting moment, but not Elvis, he just giggled on.

I should of known something was wrong at that point, but I chose to glance over this strange behavior.

As the evening concluded we all thanked Jay for the stories and off he went into the hills of Hudson. I wasn’t paying much attention of who was around after Jay left, but about 20 minutes later I received a phone call on my cell phone from Jay. Peculiar I thought that he would call me this late. I answered and Jay sounded very…um how can I say it…not amused. He asked if I were missing anybody at the shoppe. I looked around for about a minute and yes there was someone I couldn’t find, it was Elvis. I told Jay that I couldn’t find Elvis and he then told me why I couldn’t find him. He had stowed away in the back of his truck and was now at his house. Jay thought it was just logs that were rolling around in the back of the truck which he was going to be chopping and practicing his log rolling techniques the next day, but he had remembered that he already did cut them earlier and was ready for next years Lumberjack Days in Stillwater MN and entering his first log rolling contest.

As he opened the back of his truck, he was shocked to see Elvis in the back smoking his cigar and drinking a Diet Coke.

I asked him did he want me to come pick him up or did he want to drive him back. Fearing for his sanity, he gave me directions out to his place where I picked him up. Jay wasn’t even there in the driveway, he had left Elvis at the end of the driveway, with the gates locked behind him and all the lights off. I approached Elvis and just shook my head. As he walked to the car I watched him and I noticed a red dot on the back of Elvis. I turned around to see the red dot coming from Jay’s house. I guess he wasn’t taking any chances.

I sensed the next day Jay was quite irritated on the the radio. I heard him swear off cigars and future public appearances.

This was the first sign.

On Saturday when I was working at Burn, I would check my email and I got my first email from Elvis saying, “hey meet you at Robert’s tonight”. For those who don’t know Robert’s was the cigar lounge we would hang out at until it closed in July. I replied back to him that I would be too tired and that Roberts was closed. He replied back a few minutes later calling me a big fat jerk liar. This was very unlike him, but I didn’t reply, I would just let it go.

About an hour later I checked email again and there was another email from him saying that he called the gang and they were going to meet at Roberts and smoke in the lounge, he had heard they got the new CAO America. Now I was concerned. I know that the closing of our favorite cigar lounge was traumatic to him as well as myself, but now he was in full denial. Again I emailed him back that I was tired and that Robert’s had closed back in July. He replied back saying, why was I doing this to him, sending him such outrageous stories and lies that Robert’s had closed. He referenced being their the previous evening smoking cigars and listening to country star Rockie Lynne play in the ballroom. I decided not to reply.

On my way home I called Elvis’ wife. I knew she would be at work and have her cell phone. I went over with her what had occurred earlier in the day. She was hesitant to say anything, but I knew something was wrong. She broke down in tears and told me how the previous night she heard commotion coming from their 4 season porch. She tip toed to the french doors and hid behind the curtain. She saw Elvis on the couch smoking a cigar and talking to himself as well as referencing a guy named Ben who kept calling him Sally and was telling him to shuffle the fucking deck.

I asked her what we should do. Being that she was his wife and had birthed him 2 daughters she admitted she didn’t know him that well and was helpless on what his needs were.

I told her that I would surprise him the next day and pick him up and show him once and for all that Robert’s was closed. I arrived the next day about noon and she said that he had left to go hang out with his brothers for the afternoon and he brought his laptop with to go over our fantasy football league, but he should be back later.

That was the last anyone had seen of him, until Wednesday. A missing persons alert was sent out on Monday. Included in this alert was for people to keep their humidors locked and hidden until Elvis was found. Police poured over hours of surveillance tapes at local cigar shoppes. I took the week off to help look for him.

His family was worried, My wife and I grew concerned at the hours and days went out. Cigarbid.com even put up a reward fund for the safe return of Elvis.

The big break came Wednesday. Cigarbid.com alerted police that a bid for a box of Frank’s Way cigars had been placed under his username. Dear lord I thought…he has cracked and was standing on the edge. He had to be found!

The webmaster at Cigarbid.com had traced the bid to an IP Address. When we found out who had that IP Address, we all couldn’t believe that we didn’t look there.

Even though Robert’s was closed, their DSL and wireless connection was still active. We all rushed over to Roberts where it was empty. The cops called Greg and he let them in. As they entered, they walked into the vacant cigar lounge and found Elvis laying on top of the wooden bar. He didn’t put up a fight, he went quietly with the officers. It was a relief to have finally located Elvis.

Well thats the story. We found out that Elvis has stopped taking his daily doses of Prilosec the week earlier which had caused his irrational and delusional behavior. Now that he has been taking the pills, he is expected to be released from the hospital on Saturday. I have visited him and he is ready to get back to reviewing cigars and catching up on the new cigars coming to our local shoppes.

Now on to my review of the Oliva Series O Maduro.

I was reading up on this cigar and found out that the Oliva Series O comes from the same regions of Nicaragua as the Perdomo Habano Maduro. I had just reviewed that cigar earlier in the week and thought this would be a great learning opportunity.

I lit the cigar with ease, I was smoking the Torpedo which is 6×52. It has a nice easy and smooth draw. The construction was nice, but there was about an inch of a light brown, what I would call a scar, at the top of the cigar. I would compare the look to a cut on your hand and as it heals over time and the cut turns into a light pink scar. It almost looked like the cigar was trying to heal itself. There were hints of chocolate but I noticed at the end of each draw there was a slight bitter taste.

There really wasn’t any change to the cigar throughout the smoke. That bitter taste was always there. This was very different from the Perdomo Habano. There wasn’t any sweetness to this cigar. It burned evenly and never seemed to go out even when I let it sit for a few minutes in the cool evening weather.

The Oliva Series O Maduro isn’t a bad cigar, but it could use some longer aging in the humidor where one day it could be pulled out and be a great smoke. That bitter taste should then be gone from this cigar.

Comparing the two cigars, the Perdomo Habano is a much better smoke then the Oliva Series O. There are more flavors coming from the Perdomo cigar. Both cigars are about the same price at our local cigar shoppes which run about $8.50 a stick.

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Categories: Cigar Indulgence, Maduro, Nicaragua
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